gloria

im super disappointed today. i'm angry at one certain gloria (nope, not the philippine president) and i still haven't had a good cry.
i didnt think it would end this way- and me on the terrible losing end.
when i had my pre-midterm exam permit printed thursday last week, i saw that my educ120 was not there. i immediately went to see the tec chairman to report the matter. the secretary checked it with the aris and she said that i was deleted and that they have papers to show that i signed to change my schedule. like in the movies, i had a flashback. i remembered the day i signed the papers . i swear, i was misinformed. my (stupid) schoolmate said that if i sign, the other section would be transferred to our schedule, tth 3:00-4:30. so, i signed. bad move. i turned out to be more stupid than she really is. and because i signed, that got me deleted . but i have a classes on saturdays, speech 108, 2:30-5:30, so how could have i given my nod to be in another class? our "new" class schedule for educ120 was supposedly 1:30-4:30. clearly, i was misinformed. some lame reason that my (stupid) classmate gave.
still, im grateful to my educ 120 teacher, ma'am frejoles, because she encouraged me to make a letter addressed to the vp for academic affairs. and so i did. i had it countersigned by our chairman and dean. and then i submitted it to the vp for academic affairs. and then i was told to go to the registrar - he signed. up to this point, i was still very optimistic that everything will turn out fine. i would be "readmitted" and everything will be okay. and then mr. jayme, the registrar, directed me to the evaluator to have me readmitted. so the evaluator, gloria, checked my records. and then she told me that i really was deleted already. and she rubbed it in. that it was my own doing. and then she got the records. and showed me the paper that i signed. and she told me in a voice that would be forever etched in my memory: "you have signed this paper. so you have given us the permission to delete you. you already have the prior knowledge that you were deleted and then how come you still wrote this letter."
i wasn't able to answer her because i was afraid that if i did, i would just cry. silly me. i could not even defend myself. i felt so helpless. i just said "thank you ma'am". and off i went to the south campus for my classes.
but i would have told her that: "ma'am, if i already knew that i was deleted , i would have not attended my educ120classes. i would have not participated in the planning of our community immersion activities. i would not have writtten the letter. i would have not gone through of having the letter counter-signed. i would not have to face the kind secretary of the vp for academic affairs and i would not have talked to mr. jayme, the good registrar and i would not have this nightmare, the one i am having just by looking at your face and hearing you talk."
but of course i really wouldn't (or should i say, couldn't) say it to her face, especially the last "i would not have".
hahaha! ka-swerte ra niya nga mao mahimo na reason na ma-expell ko. hahaha! no way jose :)
i talked to ma'am frejoles about it and dang, i cried. i was just talking to her about the chronicles of the letter and then when i got to the evaluator part, i couldn't help it. i cried. i covered my face with the letter and i cried. sheeshh...to think that i still had a class in 5 minutes. ma'am was telling me that maybe next time, i would get a flat 1 na. hahaha! i wish.
so there. i got deleted sa educ 120 official class list.
and it means that:
1. i only have 1 class on tuesdays and thursdays.
2. i only have a morning class on tuedays and thursdays.
3. i can sleep on the afternoons of tuesdays and thursdays.
4. i have more free time on tuesdays and thursdays.
5. i can do my business on tuesdays and thursdays.
6. i can do meet-ups and deliveries on tuesdays and thursdays.
7. i have more free time on tuesdays and thursdays.
8. i can do my research for other classes on tuesdays and thursdays.
i can make a list of a hundred other things i could do on tuesdays and thursdays. i really, really, really hope that something good will come out of this circumstance.
i'll miss my educ120 class, my classmates and my teacher. dang, i was really looking forward to doing community work already.
got no choice but to enrol again next sem. or if not, sa summer na.
wooohoooo!!!

dear J

dear J,
i have not thought about you this past few days (or at least i try to think that i am not thinking about u, silly me)but i know that deep inside, there is still no closure. i have still not gotten over the fact that my birthday was overlooked (or simply forgotten for that matter) because:
1. i have decided to cut my hair again. this will be the third time in less than 2 months. and it's gotten really short but i still got compliments though. they like my hair and i do too. but when i think about the reason why i cut it, i feel so sad. J! paramdam sad oi. luoy na kau ko sa akong hair ;)
2. when i talk about you, i talk about what we did before: our moments together. reality check: its been a long time since we had a long talk. seriously. it could have been two years already. but still u remain to be my bestest friend. i swear. (which i don't normally do).
3. i'm thinking of getting highlights.
4. i've told them (our other friends)already about what you did not do, and they were sad for both of us. is there something that no one's telling me? we didn't had a quarrel the last time we were together, or did we had one? am so confused. are we still friends? u're still my bestest best.
hmmm...ranting on bloggie isnt exactly helping me get my message across but at least, i get to unload some baggage.
whew! the drama queen (aj has called me as such) that i am ought to surface once in awhile. or else, there would be no more hair to cut. and i would not really like that.
ps: if u are always on invisible mode on ym, please make sure to sign-out after i do because when u sign-out ahead of me, a notice is flashed and then i know that you have signed out without talking to me. and that's the time when the monitor becomes blur and i need to wipe my glasses. u really don't know how much i'm hurting. if only u will let me know the reason and if only u will talk to me on how u want things to be. maybe i can understand. i will really try to understand. but i can't promise u that i'd ever let it end. no way. no how. i have known the best and u are all that matters. hope we could talk soon. i am looking forward to it. i miss u so much. i love u J!:)
love always,
L :D

use it

L: use the adverb "very" with any adjective.
J: okay. i will use the adjective "pretty." "you are very pretty."
L: good. now, use the adverb "very" with another adverb.
J: but you are.
L: you are what?
J: you are very pretty.
L: okay.
J: hey, you got (points to the white board with blue ink stains) in your (points to my nose). here, look. (hands me a mirror)
L: okay. thank you.
J: your welcome.

hahaha! :)

a very lame reason to start blogging again. pardon me, kay gikilig ra ko.
amidst my very busy schedule (third year na ko!), i have two tutorials on saturdays. and that was when it transpired. wohoo!

ps: i'm L in the conversation :)