gloria

im super disappointed today. i'm angry at one certain gloria (nope, not the philippine president) and i still haven't had a good cry.
i didnt think it would end this way- and me on the terrible losing end.
when i had my pre-midterm exam permit printed thursday last week, i saw that my educ120 was not there. i immediately went to see the tec chairman to report the matter. the secretary checked it with the aris and she said that i was deleted and that they have papers to show that i signed to change my schedule. like in the movies, i had a flashback. i remembered the day i signed the papers . i swear, i was misinformed. my (stupid) schoolmate said that if i sign, the other section would be transferred to our schedule, tth 3:00-4:30. so, i signed. bad move. i turned out to be more stupid than she really is. and because i signed, that got me deleted . but i have a classes on saturdays, speech 108, 2:30-5:30, so how could have i given my nod to be in another class? our "new" class schedule for educ120 was supposedly 1:30-4:30. clearly, i was misinformed. some lame reason that my (stupid) classmate gave.
still, im grateful to my educ 120 teacher, ma'am frejoles, because she encouraged me to make a letter addressed to the vp for academic affairs. and so i did. i had it countersigned by our chairman and dean. and then i submitted it to the vp for academic affairs. and then i was told to go to the registrar - he signed. up to this point, i was still very optimistic that everything will turn out fine. i would be "readmitted" and everything will be okay. and then mr. jayme, the registrar, directed me to the evaluator to have me readmitted. so the evaluator, gloria, checked my records. and then she told me that i really was deleted already. and she rubbed it in. that it was my own doing. and then she got the records. and showed me the paper that i signed. and she told me in a voice that would be forever etched in my memory: "you have signed this paper. so you have given us the permission to delete you. you already have the prior knowledge that you were deleted and then how come you still wrote this letter."
i wasn't able to answer her because i was afraid that if i did, i would just cry. silly me. i could not even defend myself. i felt so helpless. i just said "thank you ma'am". and off i went to the south campus for my classes.
but i would have told her that: "ma'am, if i already knew that i was deleted , i would have not attended my educ120classes. i would have not participated in the planning of our community immersion activities. i would not have writtten the letter. i would have not gone through of having the letter counter-signed. i would not have to face the kind secretary of the vp for academic affairs and i would not have talked to mr. jayme, the good registrar and i would not have this nightmare, the one i am having just by looking at your face and hearing you talk."
but of course i really wouldn't (or should i say, couldn't) say it to her face, especially the last "i would not have".
hahaha! ka-swerte ra niya nga mao mahimo na reason na ma-expell ko. hahaha! no way jose :)
i talked to ma'am frejoles about it and dang, i cried. i was just talking to her about the chronicles of the letter and then when i got to the evaluator part, i couldn't help it. i cried. i covered my face with the letter and i cried. sheeshh...to think that i still had a class in 5 minutes. ma'am was telling me that maybe next time, i would get a flat 1 na. hahaha! i wish.
so there. i got deleted sa educ 120 official class list.
and it means that:
1. i only have 1 class on tuesdays and thursdays.
2. i only have a morning class on tuedays and thursdays.
3. i can sleep on the afternoons of tuesdays and thursdays.
4. i have more free time on tuesdays and thursdays.
5. i can do my business on tuesdays and thursdays.
6. i can do meet-ups and deliveries on tuesdays and thursdays.
7. i have more free time on tuesdays and thursdays.
8. i can do my research for other classes on tuesdays and thursdays.
i can make a list of a hundred other things i could do on tuesdays and thursdays. i really, really, really hope that something good will come out of this circumstance.
i'll miss my educ120 class, my classmates and my teacher. dang, i was really looking forward to doing community work already.
got no choice but to enrol again next sem. or if not, sa summer na.
wooohoooo!!!