dear J

dear J,
i have not thought about you this past few days (or at least i try to think that i am not thinking about u, silly me)but i know that deep inside, there is still no closure. i have still not gotten over the fact that my birthday was overlooked (or simply forgotten for that matter) because:
1. i have decided to cut my hair again. this will be the third time in less than 2 months. and it's gotten really short but i still got compliments though. they like my hair and i do too. but when i think about the reason why i cut it, i feel so sad. J! paramdam sad oi. luoy na kau ko sa akong hair ;)
2. when i talk about you, i talk about what we did before: our moments together. reality check: its been a long time since we had a long talk. seriously. it could have been two years already. but still u remain to be my bestest friend. i swear. (which i don't normally do).
3. i'm thinking of getting highlights.
4. i've told them (our other friends)already about what you did not do, and they were sad for both of us. is there something that no one's telling me? we didn't had a quarrel the last time we were together, or did we had one? am so confused. are we still friends? u're still my bestest best.
hmmm...ranting on bloggie isnt exactly helping me get my message across but at least, i get to unload some baggage.
whew! the drama queen (aj has called me as such) that i am ought to surface once in awhile. or else, there would be no more hair to cut. and i would not really like that.
ps: if u are always on invisible mode on ym, please make sure to sign-out after i do because when u sign-out ahead of me, a notice is flashed and then i know that you have signed out without talking to me. and that's the time when the monitor becomes blur and i need to wipe my glasses. u really don't know how much i'm hurting. if only u will let me know the reason and if only u will talk to me on how u want things to be. maybe i can understand. i will really try to understand. but i can't promise u that i'd ever let it end. no way. no how. i have known the best and u are all that matters. hope we could talk soon. i am looking forward to it. i miss u so much. i love u J!:)
love always,
L :D